Being vulnerable is OK

I am still in Sydney right now, at my second home Pymble, up on the North Shore. I feel tired & exhausted. Maybe from the heat outside or the last two workshop days. I had the chance of meeting Jonas Peterson & Ryan Muirhead.

Jonas I knew by following his blog & work. He’s one of the best wedding photographers (in my personal top 10), telling the love between two people and their families around them. Ryan, I am honest, I have not known before. Not even heard anything about him. But sometimes that’s even better because I am not having a picture in my head of how someone might be or not. And I have to say: ‚You are awesome!‘

Most workshops are just about workflow, marketing and so on. Which is fair enough. I am always interested in these parts as well. I am partly business woman and it’s just interesting how other photographers work especially as we are usually sitting by ourselves at home, in front of our computers.

I knew before that Jonas & Ryan weren’t planning of having such a ‚classical‘ workshop. I still didn’t expect anything. That way I don’t get disappointed. Also I always get bits and pieces out of such an experience so I knew I am not walking away with nothing.

After just two hours into the workshop I was pretty much blown away. By the honesty & openness of Jonas & Ryan. They let us into their lives. Most of all their personal lives, not just their business lives. They showed us that being vulnerable is OK. That being rejected is OK. That being human is OK.

The key question was: ‚Why am I doing this? Why am I a photographer?‘

Everyone following my blog might recognize that question as I attended Nadia Meli’s workshop last year which was also all about ‚Why‘. Maybe having thought about this before & getting confronted with this question again made me think even deeper. I guess it’s a process finding out about yourself, who you are and where you want to go. So here’s my solution … although I find there is not only one ‚Why‘ to my ‚Why‘.

Why am I doing this?

‚For me there is no finer passion than capturing life & love with my camera.‘
This is the headline on my website & I truly mean it.

I love the beauty of life & love, the bonding between families and the unconditional love between everyone. Having said that I will tell you a little bit more about me …

My family is my number one. They have always been there for me. Like you say at weddings: ‚In good and bad times‘. They have never given up on me even when I had a time of crying my eyes out. Feeling like there is no meaning to life. Still loving me when it looked like I didn’t even love myself being in an unhealthy relationship. They still supported all my decisions. Unconditionally.

This on one ‚Why‘ … and I am happy you can’t see me right now as I am crying a bit having written this. But I guess I have always been better in writing things rather then saying them out loud.

My second ‚Why‘ – and I believe the reason for this will chance in the future – is that I believe in true love. I believe that two people can meet, fall in love, supporting each other, unconditionally. Going through good and bad times. The reason I believe in this is that I haven’t found my true love yet (or it (he) hasn’t found me yet).

When I get the chance to photograph a family or wedding that believe in the same things, I feel like meeting soul mates. I know this sounds cheesy, but that’s how I feel. And I aim to be in the same position one day. Having an awesome man on my side, three kids and this unconditional love around me.

To break things up and not leaving you in a depressed state, I will just quote Jonas’ words from the workshop: ‚Let’s get some Tacos!‘

Love,
AlineMerken